APPENDIX 48
Memorandum submitted by Men's Advice Line
MALE VICTIMS BRIEFING PAPER
WHAT WE
KNOW
1. Men are often reluctant
to access social care services and seem to prefer to access information
at arms length/anonymously eg by email and phone.
2. Gender stereotypes(for
both victims and professionals) can make it difficult to think
of men as "victims".
3. Concepts such as mutual
or common couple violence are unhelpful.
4. Male victims trivialise
milder forms of abuse and violence.
5. Physical Injury is often
seen as defining "the victim".
6. Lack of specialist agencies
dealing with male victims-including sexual assault and rape, domestic
violence etc.
7. Many perpetrators will
claim to be the victim.
8. A number of men's organisations
use the issue of male victims as a vehicle to perpetuate their
misogynist politics.
AN INFORMED
APPROACH IS
CRUCIAL
Practitioners should NOT apply what we
know about female victims and simply assume that a mirror- image
of services for male victims is appropriate. In our experience,
when this happens risk to the female partner more often than not
escalates. Identifying a male victim can only be done safely by
implementing routine screening. We would advocate routine screening
to ensure that genuine victims receive the services and support
that they deserve; that primary aggressors are identified to ensure
they are referred to appropriate services too. And often there
will be counter-allegations by both parties. This can only be
done safely in the context of a multi-agency environment with
robust information sharing protocols and such an approach MUST
include a community-based perpetrator programme. Routine screening
will result in identification of both victims and perpetrators.
There is a high probability that perhaps as many as 70% of men
accessing services will be predominant aggressors and/or perpetrators
and therefore it is essential that we have appropriate services
for these men as well as genuine victims.
Working with genuine male victims is
a social service.
Working with male perpetrators is working
for social change.
— Approximately
20% of all calls to Devon and Cornwall Police are from men identifying
as the victim.
— Approximately
20% of all calls to the Metropolitan Police are from men identifying
as the victim.
— British Crime
Survey 2002 statistics show that one in six men identified as
experiencing domestic violence at some point in their lives. Just
under half of these (47%) experienced a single incident. However,
89% of those experiencing four or more assaults are female.
— Scottish Crime
Survey(2000) statistics showed that one in 12 men experience domestic
violence (including GBT men).
— Further analysis
of this data found that 29% of these men had misunderstood the
question and had not been abused by a partner but by someone else
in situations unrelated to domestic violence.
— Research by Gadd
et al Domestic Abuse Against Men in Scotland based on a
small cohort of men (21 men) who had identified as victims of
domestic violence in the 2000 Scottish Crime Survey.
— Based on the interviews
and accounts Gadd et al found four distinct categories
based on how the men depicted themselves.
(i) Primary Instigators: Men
who admitted instigating the abuse in their relationships,
(ii) Equal Combatants: Men
who claimed that they "gave as good as they got",
(iii) Retaliators: Men who
admitted being abusively solely as a response to their partner's
abuse, and
(iv) Non-retaliator: Men claiming
to have never used abuse other than for restraining their abusive
partner.
Of the 10 men who admitted using physical
violence, six admitted causing more injury and harm and further
stated that their abuse was more frequent than that of their partner.
This suggests that although only 1 man identified as the Primary
Instigator, analysis of the data suggests that the number of men
who are Primary Instigators is actually much higher. This corresponds
with similar findings from Perpetrator Programmes, Police, health
and Housing workers who regularly come across male perpetrators
who claim victim status.
Gadd et al also found that 76%
of those interviewed had left their partners. The remaining 24%
did not express feeling any fear or control of abuse or fear from
threats if they tried to leave.
Consequently services have to be developed
to engage appropriately with the various categories of men who
will claim to be victims.
There is still resistance to the idea
of male victims from some in society and this compounds how we
think about men. These ideas simply keep men in the straight-jacket
of traditional masculinity:
— men are supposed
to protect women;
— men are supposed
to be in charge/don't get bossed around by women;
— men should be
able to control/keep their women in order; and
— men don't have
feelings/don't talk about them at least.
Like many abused women, men who are abused
may be slow to admit what is happening. If they contact the Police
or another agency they may not get taken seriously.
Men who are being victimised may:
— be afraid to tell
anybody what is going on;
— be depressed and
humiliated;
— feel that he is
a failure;
— be confused because
of his partner's "Jekyll and Hyde" behaviour;
— feel like he's
walking on eggshells;
— be made to feel
that he deserved it; or
— feel like he's
the "only one" experiencing this and this compounds
his isolation
Men who are victims of domestic abuse
may experience:
— fears for their
children;
— suspicion because
"a man can't be victimised by a woman";
— being misjudged
and viewed as the perpetrator based on little or no information;
and
— will often stay
to protect the children
However, whilst individual cases exist
where male victims have been severely injured by a female partner,
or indeed killed overall it is difficult to state that the issues
are exactly the same. They patently are not. Significant differences
between male and female experiences of domestic violence and abuse
exist, in particular in three main areas.
1. Fear and intimidation
Malloy et al report on a number
of studies that found that women reported significant, long term
levels of fear and more negative impacts on their physical and
psychological functioning, compared to male victims of female
violence (Malloy, 2003). Tjaden and Thoennes report that men are
much more likely to make serious threats that induce significant
fear in women (2000).
2. Sexual Abuse
Many studies have failed to include sexual
abuse which was found to be perpetrated by men up to 20 times
more (Tjaden and Thoennes, 2000] than for women. This includes
the BCS figure of one in four women. The study found that women
were significantly more likely than men to report being victimized
by a current or former marital/opposite-sex cohabitating partner,
whether the time period considered was the individual's lifetime
or the 12 months preceding the survey, and whether the type of
violence considered was rape, physical assault, or stalking...
Women were 22.5 times more likely to report being raped, 2.9 times
more likely to report being physically assaulted, and 8.2 times
more likely to report being stalked by a current of former marital/opposite-sex
cohabiting partner at some time in their lives. In addition the
average frequency of victimization was significantly greater for
women than men.[285]
The National Violence Against Women Survey, 1995 found a 42% injury
rate for women, and 19% for men.[286]
However, about 3 of American men—a
total of 2.78 million men—have experienced an attempted
or completed rape in their lifetime.[287]
One in every 10 rape victims is male.
(NCVS 2003)[288]
3. Homicide
There is also a compelling difference
in homicide rates with 70% women victims killed by male partners,
and 30% of men killed by female partners as reported by Saunders,
2002. In recent years, men are committing more homicides, and
the rates for female murderers have declined (Saunders, 2002).
In addition men are killing other male members of their families
at higher rates than women. Again we would suggest that this is
an area that is often neglected and reinforces our belief that
the greater danger to men is other men rather than women.
There is a fundamental dearth of research
about male victims, their experiences, prevalence, clinical studies
about the psychological impact of the abuse, the differences of
experiences between male and female victims, gender-specific risk
factors, female perpetrators etc. Until these areas are given
serious consideration the debates about prevalence, experiences
will continue to be a matter of division and debate. The Home
Office is currently in the process of commissioning specific research
about male victims, their experiences and their needs. It is hoped
that from this research we will better understand the extent of
the problem, the needs of these men and how practitioners and
agencies can design appropriate services to this new area of work
that is only now emerging.
4. Contact
One area that is always cited as where
"women have the upper hand" is over contact. On occasion
this may be the case but in our experience many of the issues
that arise are based on the man's assumption that he has an inalienable
right to se his children. We are also of the opinion that whilst
some fathers struggle to see their children, an issue that needs
addressing, we would also highlight the anomaly of violent fathers
using the Family Courts as a way of continuing their abuse towards
their former partner(s) and children. In our opinion the Family
Courts force women into dangerous situations where contact is
imposed and the potential for child abuse continues. There is
a dearth of community perpetrator programmes across the UK. Despite
community based Perpetrator programmes being an essential component
part of the SDVC programme, many operate without one. As a consequence,
when a violent father requests contact the judge cannot make an
order of rehabilitation and then give further consideration with
regard to contact upon completion of a suitable programme. In
addition the vast majority of contact centres are faced with waiting
lists, run by volunteers who have little understanding of risk
and are badly funded. The capacity for supervised contact is even
worse. As a result too many violent and abusive men are having
contact with their children without doing anything to address
their own failings as men and fathers. To put this in its real
perspective, the DCA Judicial Statistics Report 2005 states that
of 28 641 applications for Contact in the Family Court only 58
resulted in an order of Non Contact.
5. Honour-based violence and Male Victims
Whilst the majority of victims of honour
based violence are women a minority 15% of cases dealt with by
the Forced Marriage Unit of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office
are men. Predominantly these men come from the Indian sub-continent
but not exclusively. Of these men, most are forced into marriages
because of issues of sexuality, mental health and commerce, such
as land deals between families. As awareness of honour-based violence
and forced marriage grows, there will undoubtedly be more cases
than at present. As with all aspects of domestic violence, resources
will be a factor when service provision is considered. We would
suggest that whilst raising awareness of any element of forced
marriage or domestic violence is to be welcomed it follows that
there will be an increase in the numbers of people seeking help
and support. This in turn demands additional resources otherwise
why raise awareness in the first place?
6. Accommodation for men
As far as we are aware there are some
possible 20 bed spaces, specifically for heterosexual male victims
and dependants across the UK. There are some four hundred other
bed spaces available to men and these are to be found in generic
hostels which for many will not be suitable accommodation. However,
we have yet to be convinced that there is a significant need for
additional beds for male victims of intimate partner violence.
Most men, even if they are victimised do not face the same levels
of fear as women and most will want to remain where they are due
to employment and family commitments. Of the few men we have directed
to existing refuges most had to flee because of their partner's
serious mental health issues, such as personality disorder and
effectively there was no other option. However, this is rare.
Men have exactly the same access to local authority housing stock
as women and as such are not discriminated against. Significantly
despite the network of female refuges, only 15% of those fleeing
domestic violence are able to access refuge.
We also submit that again the issue of
men's refuges has been somewhat misrepresented by some for political
reasons that have more to do with misogyny than concern for genuine
individuals.
We would further add that whilst there
will always be a need for refuge provision for women in particular,
we would like to see a far more radical approach than at present.
To that end, we would like to see the perpetrator removed from
the house and offered accommodation subject to him engaging in
a suitable programme such as the Integrated Domestic Abuse Programme(IDAP)
or similar. In addition whilst at such a hostel the man would
have an opportunity to develop life skills, access support for
any drug and/or alcohol issues and parenting classes.
As it is at present, more often than
not the female is forced to flee with the children whilst the
perpetrator remains in the home. This cannot be right or just.
In addition, there would be significant financial savings-to re-house
one person is far less expensive than a whole family; the man
accesses support and understands that his behaviour needs to be
addressed- and that if he says he is serious about change then
he has the opportunity to do so. Harrassment would potentially
decrease reducing Police call outs and the costs involved etc.
We recognise that as such, this represent a sea-change in terms
of approach and policy but feel that maintaining the existing
stance suggests an acceptance of gender-based violence. We also
recognise that this may well be seen by some as reward for bad
behaviour.
THE WORK
OF THE
MEN'S
ADVICE LINE
The Men's Advice Line is a small helpline
which is open Monday to Wednesday for a total of 18 hours a week
only. By end of March 2008 it is hoped that the Men's Advice Line
will be fully accredited by the Telephone Helplines Association.
In addition the line is currently being evaluated and early indications
show that all the men interviewed so far have had positive experiences
and struggled to find any other suitable help and support. On
average we receive over four hundred calls a month but due to
capacity we cannot respond to all calls which is something we
would like to do.
In addition the Men's Advice Line website
www.mensadviceline.org.uk is used by over 2,500 individual users
per month and predominantly between the hours of 9am and 6pm.
The website has information sections for victims, perpetrators,
friends and family and professionals.
Our approach has always been based on
an understanding that domestic violence IS gendered. In short
more men batter women than women batter men and almost two women
a week are being killed by their intimate partner or former intimate
partner. Much of our approach is based on the premise of "the
earlier the intervention, the greater the potential to reduce
harm". Put another way "Why do we only intervene or
offer support when people are victimised?" We also believe
that there are fundamental gender differences in help-seeking
behaviours which is another area which is under-researched. Professor
Alan White, of Leeds Metropolitan University is currently engaged
in pan-European research looking at men and their help-seeking
behaviours. From our experience, men prefer remote access to services,
primarily helpline and web-based. This allows individual men to
remain in control of the conversation without disclosing their
identity and if they wish to stop the call they can. There is
far less embarrassment and shame accessing a helpline and men
will readily access the internet. Given that men are socialised
to be fixers and problem solvers our approach is to allow them
to talk about their issue and to be as positive as possible and
encourage them to become active in response to their crisis, rather
than try deny what is happening to them individually and their
relationship. A major motivator for men is children and in our
approach we emphasise the need to remain child-focused in everything
that they do and not to lose sight of the fact that their children's
needs come before their own. We would like to see the Men's Advice
Line develop in capacity so that we can respond more effectively
than at present.
Hence we invite men who are simply in
unhappy and unhealthy relationships as well as overtly abusive
ones to contact us and "talk it over." We would suggest
that more men are victims of their own attempts to comply with
outdated notions of what constitutes a "real man" rather
than are the victims of violence perpetrated by women.
It should also be acknowledged that with
gender differences and relationships one thing is very clear.
For women being in a relationship with a man is a risk factor
whereas for men, being in a relationship with a woman is a protecting
factor. Put simply, men do not cope well on their own. Most (69%)
of divorces are initiated by women and for many men this is a
time of absolute crisis. For many men their relationship with
their wife/partner is the ONLY close and intimate relationship
that they have. They may have work colleagues and one or two other
people in their lives but it is often the case that men rely on
their female partners for all their emotional support and needs-
and indeed expect them to be met. This isn't surprising given
that this is how we are socialised. However, all this comes at
a cost, both fiscal and human. When men separate they do not cope
well and often resort to "coping" by using excessive
amounts of alcohol and perhaps others substances to stop the emotional
pain.
Men are at an increased risk of suicide
and further work in this area is required. At least 40% of fathers
lose touch with their children within two years of relationship
breakdown and often because they feel that they have failed or
they simply cannot deal with the pain of not seeing their children
or because they have to deal with the legacy of a failed relationship.
The common approach would appear to be "all or nothing"
ie In a relationship I am successful person, husband, father,
parent etc but if I'm out of that relationship I am nothing, a
failure and I cannot fulfil my role as a father because either
somebody else has taken my place or it's just too painful to deal
with seeing my children and then having to say good bye again
etc. As a society we have to work towards changing this belief
system in men so that they can model positive behaviour for themselves
and more importantly for their children.
Types of calls to the Men's Advice Line
on any given week:
— Victims—clearly
identifiable, severe physical and/or psychological abuse.
— Bi-directional/Mutual
violence—difficult to establish who is the main aggressor.
— Perpetrators identifying
as victims because partner has retaliated.
— Allleged false
allegations of DV by partners/ex-partners, particularly during
divorce proceedings and child custody/access disputes.
— Complaints or
praise for response by police dv units or individual officers.
— Complaints about
broken contact orders, problems with CAFCASS.
— Men worried about
actual or potential abuse of children by violent partner. Referrals
to child protection teams.
— DV in same sex
relationships—referrals to Broken Rainbow, Stonewall, GALOP.
— Housing advice,
homelessness applications to local authorities, priority need
of single men following DV or relationship breakdown. Referrals
to housing advocates.
— Alleged miscarriages
of justice where man has been prosecuted for violence against
partner. Referrals to MOJO, etc.
— Requests for legal
advice re divorce, parental responsibility, access to children,
financial settlements, child support payments.
— Requests for details
of "father-friendly" solicitors/barristers. Legal aid
entitlement queries.
— Debt/money problems
as trigger for dv or relationship breakdown. Referrals to money
advice agencies.
— Concerns about
partners who are financially controlling, or who routinely restrict
access to family/friends.
— Requests for referrals
to counselling agencies, psychotherapists etc.
— Adult survivors
of childhood sexual abuse, male rape. Referrals to NAPAC branches,
Survivors UK.
— Asian callers—in
increasing numbers over the past year. Often from callers who
do not want to approach community organisations for help.
— Problems with
arranged marriages, violence/abuse from in-laws, problems with
immigration status in case of separation and divorce. Recourse
to public funds for abused partner. Cultural issues around stigma
of marriage breakdown, shame in seeking help, language barriers.
Referrals to BME support agencies.
— African callers.
Issues often include traditional views re role of man in marriage,
role of wider community in mediation of marital disputes, support/counselling
from churches, community groups etc.
— Threats to have
partner deported. Often routine part of abuse where victim's right
to remain in UK is dependent on abusive spouse.
— Requests for details
of female perpetrator projects and services from men seeking help
for violent partner.
— British men married
to younger "mail-order brides" usually from far east
and eastern Europe- relationship breakdown, cultural issues, immigration
implications and interaction with UK matrimonial law.
— Requests for emergency
accommodation, refuges, hostels etc.
— Enquiries about
specialist support groups for men in abusive relationships.
— Family members
concerned about adult children, siblings, parents in potentially
violent relationships. Anxious friends in whom abused partner
has confided.
— Angry, abusive
calls from men who are convinced the legal system is weighted
against them, and that women "get it all" in terms of
child custody, housing, access to legal advice, interventions
by police, emotional support.
— Media calls—wanting
statistics, interviews with male victims, quotes/position statements
from us.
— Academic research—students
wanting stats, research papers, info on best practice.
— Callers with
serious mental health issues—often confused narratives,
paranoid fantasies, but sometimes with partners who appear to
be exploiting their vulnerability. Referrals to MIND branches,
Psychiatric services, CMHT etc.
— Men abused by
partners with serious mental health problems. Queries re Mental
Health Act, sections etc. Referrals as above.
— Unhappy relationships—apparently
no real abuse on either side, but caller identifies relationship
as abusive. Referrals to Relate, couples counselling, Marriage
Care etc when appropriate.
— Alcoholism/drug
addiction as trigger for occasional violent incidents in otherwise
happy relationships. Callers seeking referrals for partners to
specialist agencies.
— Callers suffering
violence from siblings or parents. All age groups from 16 upwards.
— Callers with suicidal
thoughts, past history of suicide attempts or self-harm. Referrals
to local Samaritans, details of NHS psychiatric services requested.
— Callers from abroad
requesting local support services. Usually British expats in Spain
or France in abusive relationships, isolated by language barriers
from seeking help. Calls from friends/familyin UK worried about
people abroad, feeling helpless to intervene due to distance.
11 February 2008
285 Tjaden and Thoennes, 2000. Back
286
Tjaden and Thoennes, 2000. Back
287
Tjaden and Thoennes, 2000. Back
288
US National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS). Back
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