Justice CommitteeWritten evidence from Anastasia Romanos
A personal account of my own experiences of a family of a missing husband and father of our children.
The observations of a professional and intelligent member of the community.
A report of my contact with a variety of agencies in particular the obstacles and recognition of those whose assistance proved to be invaluable.
My research into the strategies and methods already in place in other countries and existing recommendations already proposed by various organisations.
My own recommendations and suggestions to the Select Committee of a positive way forward to ensuring that a well sign posted legislative infrastructure is implemented and embedded for supporting families of missing children and adults.
My response to APPG for Runaway and Missing People (Children and Adults)
Inquiry: Support for Families of Missing People; Session Two—Resolving a missing person’s affairs & presumption of death.
1. Reading through the all the Parliamentary Inquiry Session transcripts and the concluding “Report of Recommendations to Support Families of Missing People (Children and Adults)” brought up a whole ray of emotions from deep sorrow, sadness, to a strange sense of relief. A sense of affirmation and acknowledgement that long awaited voices of the families of missing children and adults are being addressed as clearly stated in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR).
2. The Human Rights Act for Protection clearly states the duty of the state to place measures to protect individuals and have adequate laws in place to punish those who violate the “Right to life of others”.
3. This being the first ever inquiry in the UK to support families of missing people (Ann Coffey MP Chair of APPG), it is ashamedly obvious where the state has failed to meet its obligation as part of “The Duty to Protect” and act on the state to investigate in all cases of a breach of the right to life. “The Duty to Investigate” has fallen far short of the guaranteed UDHR. This is where the need for a coherent legislative framework is desperately needed to avoid the present fragmented and disjointed system that families of missing people face daily some for years and unfortunately, forever for others.
4. Whilst reading through the APPG Session transcripts of the experiences and difficulties faced by other families of missing people; I identified and related to them so easily. I find it incredibly difficult to comprehend why families in England and Wales have had to struggle blindly for so long without any guidance from the state.
5. Many of the measures for safeguarding and supporting the families of missing people are explicitly detailed in “The International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) Handbook for Parliamentarians [N°17 2009]”. Although, it is primarily focus is on the issue of missing persons due to armed conflict and internal violence. Other situations that give rise to the issue of missing persons include natural disasters, population displacement or terrorism. In essence the guidance and framework outlined in the above ICRC is relevant and deals with the issues and obstacles faced by families of missing people.
6. Scotland, Northern Ireland, Australia and even Canada have systems in place to help families in situations where members are missing. My research has revealed that in many countries issues of such a sensitive nature have had some forms of coherent system or procedures in place—so alleviating the distress and torment already being experienced by families of missing people. In Canada, having a single point of contact reduces the likelihood of conflicting information that could result from dealing with multiple family members. Designating a family representative ensures that police know who to contact with updates about the investigation. It also allows for the family representative and the designated officer handling the missing person case to establish a level of comfort and trust in their communications regarding the case.
7. Reflecting back over the past five years I am astonished at how long and lonely my journey has been to even get to this stage. The impact for families of missing people is far reaching and devastating than can be perceived at first sight. As my own experience shows there is a total lack of sign posting for family members to even begin dealing with issues of reporting, seeking help and raising awareness to their plight.
8. The police are usually the first statutory service families will seek to obtain help and guidance. I bear no criticism of the Police Force I first made contact with. In my case, initial generic process was followed to eliminate foul play. Paul’s house was searched to make initial assessments as there was nothing out of the ordinary ie a body? I was designated a police officer to obtain feedback.
9. When I raised concerns about the odd bizarre happenings I was directed towards the path that Paul was not a vulnerable individual having being a former soldier. He was not a priority even when I explained he suffered from PTSD, the emotional trauma our family was suffering and the concern we had about his house being repossessed. Responses given were such as “Paul is a grown man and has made his own decisions in the end” and “Paul decided to leave on his own accord” in spite of the fact that I kept on raising issues about his mental state. The police failed to take any action by following up on his medical records especially since I had been very explicit about this. I continued to remain in contact with Cambridgeshire Police Constabulary from January 2007 until April 2008. Throughout this contact I was first speaking to Sergeants, then an Inspector, and finally I was left to speak to Civilian staff. I felt that the Police were “washing their hands” of me and my family. [See footnote 1]
10. During this period, I had to take the initiative to contact the Child Support Agency to see if they had any information via their system of tracking absent parents. I was told there was nothing on record to establish his whereabouts. I then approached the Passport Office to check if his passport had been handed in or if he had travelled abroad recently. They were unfortunately unable to help due to data protection legislation. I was told that only the police would be able to obtain this information. Armed with these facts, I contacted Cambridgeshire Police to act on my behalf. Upon the police following this inquiry, it was confirmed that the Passport Office had little to no information to assist with finding Paul.
11. In April 2008, having exhausted this avenue of search (the police), I contacted the Foreign Commonwealth Office, seeking their support. I continued working with the Foreign Commonwealth Office who asked for information to build a profile of Paul. I contacted Paul’s dentist for copies on any dental records they held. Unfortunately, they didn’t hold any dental records. I passed all the information onto the FCO who were able to obtain records from the MoD. I felt as though I again, had to take the lead and use my initiative to find out any information that could help us. At the back of my mind, there was a constant worry that at any time, DNA samples would requested from the children. My main priority, as any parent, during the whole period of time, was to protect my children from any further unnecessary distress that they were already suffering. I remember during this time, my mind wandering back to the fact that it may even mean our unborn daughter’s sample tissues that had been kept by the hospital having to be recalled as a possible means of obtaining DNA.
12. Another serious issue that arose was dealing with Paul’s financial affairs, for example his mortgage company. I informed the Halifax Bank of the current situation. I gave them his mortgage account number, and that he was four months behind on his repayments, which they confirmed. I asked them to make sure that this current situation was on his account records, ensuring they were aware of the context of why repayments had stopped. In essence, I was trying to ensure that Paul had a home to come back to. [Reference: Appendix A—Not Printed]. Other difficulties faced with Paul’s financial affairs have included his three pensions are protected.
13. In addition to the psychological distress suffered as a result of Paul’s disappearance almost five years ago, it was compounded not only by the obvious lack of specialist support for families such as mine [See footnote 2]. It runs deeper, as we have been in a state of “limbo” and constant uncertainty waiting as in a frozen time zone. You find yourself avoiding even talking about your plight; the aching pain, the distress and anxiety as others do not understand leaving you feeling stigmatised and isolated. It may be atypical to my experiences only but for Paul not to have attempted any contact has left me on hyper alert. Given Paul’s Armed Forces background and his complete disappearance off any radar drew me to researching websites of newspapers abroad in an attempt to find him. Instead I was faced to read horrific stories of violence and terror; what if he had got drawn into unsavoury associations that put his life at risk and unintentionally put our children’s safety at risk [See footnote 3].
14. I found myself focusing all my energy and attention on searching for Paul whilst attempting to remain strong for the children and career; I completely neglected my own needs. My physical, emotional and mental health began to suffer but I remained oblivious to the signs; I even forgot how to enjoy life. With time, I withdraw socially and emotionally from those around me but never the children. Numbness lack of closure, the not knowing, has meant we have not even begun the mourning process. Over time you withdraw socially from others around you. The fear that missing loved ones will be forgotten forever, leaving no trace they ever existed plunges you into obsessive questioning “Who will remember them when I am gone?” There is no monument or register to even valid Paul’s existence.
15. The enormity and the far reaching impact a situation like this can have is unbelievable unless of course you have lived through it. The ability to keep everything as normal as possible and the continual juggling (keeping all the balls in the air) eventually took its toll. It creeps up on you slowly, obviously you remain unaware as your physical health begins to deteriorate but you keep battling on. You continue believing you will bounce back and this is only a temporary blip. One day you wake up and realise how fragile and vulnerable you have become; that includes even those of us known for our strong mental resilience. No matter how hard you try to continue in your resolve to get back to the person you once were, the further you are slipping back. Eventually, this whole nightmare cost me my health and a much loved career. This may be extraordinary to my case but my vulnerability and difficult situation was exploited by my former employer in the “political office” battles that go on the further up the career ladder you climb. Instead of choosing to be compassionate and supportive I was exposed to three years of what can only be described as “deliberate victimisation” at work. I was unaware at the time I was being watched for nearly three years and to sum it up politely—“it was and had nothing to do with my Teaching Ability”. [Reference: Evidence available via “copy of a dossier”]
16. My recommendations are based on my own experiences and from the in-depth research I have carried out, so that no other family have to go through the horrendous ordeal accounted in this report. I found many of the issues and difficulties I have encountered over the past five years are interlinked; as one agency eg “health” cannot work exclusively on its own to resolve the complex needs of families of missing people. The compelling evidence documented in the APPG Inquiry increasingly promotes the vital necessity for a multi-agency approach. Within the Education System “The Common Assessment Framework” (CAF) a key part of the Every Child Matters Change for Children Programme has been a success in its aims to deliver front-line services that are integrated and focused around the needs of children and young people. The CAF is a standardised approach to conducting an assessment of a child or young person presenting with additional needs and agreeing how those needs can best be met. Perhaps it is time that families of missing persons, who not only have to deal with the psychological distress caused by the disappearance of a loved one have access to such front-line services as those referred to above.
17. I believe the original proposals for the development and implementation of a Task force The NAPIA Missing Persons Bureau (MPB) is the direction the Government should be pursuing. The MPB did put into place some very important and necessary strategic measures but was not far reaching enough as it was subsequently abandoned. The present Governments intention of setting up a new body to continue the work started by the MPB is a crucial and necessary to addressing the issues raised by the findings of the APPG “Report of Recommendations to Support Families of Missing People (Children and Adults)” June 2011. In my opinion the basis of the foundations set up by the MPB need to be embedded into a legislative form for it to work effectively and address all the areas that were raised at the above APPG. The difference needs to be seen and felt at grassroots level—by families of missing children and adults. I am not convinced that the manner in which the “new proposed body” is being an “add on” to the Government consultation as documented in the framework for “Policing in the 21 Century.” [September 2011].
18. I urge the committee to give the “new proposed body” the recognition and sustenance that it deserves anything less falls far short of supporting families of missing children and adults. I am aware of the importance of liaison with the Police Forces but we must not forget that Police Forces are already stretched by the ever increasing intricacies and complexities of crime in the 21 Century. My account of my family’s last five years vividly highlights that there are still many families who still fall through the “net.” This is due to the lack of signposting and the existence of a clear working infrastructure being in place. My own unfamiliarity and lack of knowledge of the work of charities like “Missing People” meant I did not make contact with them until the Foreign Commonwealth Office personally directed/introduce me to the “Missing Peoples” charity. Prior to this I knew the existence of such charities but never beyond the raising money front or even the adverts you walk past outside supermarkets. I would never have fathomed the machinery at work behind the “shop front” of charity work. This only validates my argument for the existence of legislative body to deal especially with all the difficulties those families of missing people experience.
19. The issue of the absence of legal provisions makes the lives of the families’ of those missing extremely difficult and the harsh realities are many suffer financial hardship in addition to all the other stresses. Tim Humphrey’s Association of British Insurers expresses his opinion in the APPG “Report of Recommendations to Support Families of Missing People (Children and Adults)” June 2011. “Industry-wide guidance would be welcomed by the membership….I think insurers would like to know they can act in a certain way as regards data protection… I think they would like to be provided with that reassurance.” Here there is a clear plea from the British Banking and Association of British Insurers for legislation to be put in place for them to follow. This is indeed an area that the “new proposed body” could administer and oversee by liaising with the appropriate agencies. Here my previous objection to the “new proposed body” being an “add on” to the British Police Forces holds ground. We cannot expect our police forces to also deal with financial difficulties that the family of a missing person experiences. Can I emphasise in my own personal experience the police made it very clear it was out of their jurisdiction and advised me to seek legal support. This current disjointed practice again strengthens my argument for a dedicated Task Force to deal with every aspect of support and help to the families of missing children and adults. The presumption of death would thus be dealt with in a coherent system and each case be considered duly within the context of each individual circumstances based on evidence. [See footnote 4].
20. We must remember despite the stereotypical stigma attached to the image of “missing people” that in essence we are dealing with ordinary hard working families from varying backgrounds(I refer to Lord Boswell, the parents of Madeline McCann and of course my own family [Reference: Appendix B—Not Printed].) Families I make reference to above like many other families out there(including my own family) are a real assets to society but when the tables are turned; there is no infrastructure in place to help these very same valued members of the community—then there is an enormous loss to humanity.
November 2011
Reference
[Footnote 1] Further hitches emerged in 2010 following an enquiry I made to Derbyshire Police Constabulary, exposed a lack of communication and co-ordination between police forces. I had believed that in the 21 Century (due to the level, complexity and intelligence of crimes committed) we would have had a “National Police Database” of sorts, which the police could access when required.
[Footnote 2] Families are already unable to grieve because how can you grieve when you do not know—it is a waiting game. I found it extremely difficult to talk about what was going on at the time, as it is such bizarre and unchartered territory you find it difficult to communicate your emotions and fear the response from others. I still don’t know how I am still here today—looking back retrospectively, “I could weep for that woman and her children”. Kate McCann clearly reiterates the point… “We are medically trained and we couldn’t function….I think it is paramount importance that psychological support is offered to the family” [APPG June 2011].
[Footnote 3] I changed our children’s surnames, made the schools they attended aware of the necessity for extra vigilance re: security whilst they were at school. It has now come to the point I have requested a change of ID for our safety and my peace of mind. I would like our children to grow up without having to be in a state of continual vigilance and fear.
[Footnote 4] I like many others view the “Presumption of Death Bill” with caution. However, we can draw from the experiences of legislation already in place in Scotland and Northern Ireland and even countries like Australia for guidance as to workable practicalities. My personal opinion lies with the view that each case presented to the court must meet criteria before a court will consider a decision. The court’s decision must take each case on its merit, as believe me no single “missing persons” situation is the same as any others. There are core familiarities but each will tell its own story. This is why the “Presumption of Death Bill” cannot be classified into a tariff style system but instead must have room to maneuverer within an air of discretion.
I would like to acknowledge the following people and organisations for the support they have provided during the ordeal me and my family have endured:
Matt Searle—Director of Operations—Missing Abroad.
Nigel Mills MP—Amber Valley Constituency.
Liam Rhodes—Case Worker Amber Valley Constituency.
Aldercar Community Language College.
Foreign Commonwealth Office.
Dr A B Graham MB, ChB/BS—GP Brooklyn Medical Practice.
All the staff at Brooklyn Medical Practice.
Rob Sewell—Psychologist.
The Royal British Legion.
Amber Valley Adult Disability Social Services Team.