Defence CommitteeWritten evidence from families submitted by the Army Families Federation

I attended the Defence select committee session in London on Service Children’s Education and spoke to you at The Wellington Academy last Monday. I have put together some evidence as discussed regarding the choices we face when choosing boarding school for our children. I have asked two colleagues with different experiences to contribute to this as I felt that their voices should be heard too.

My husband is serving in the armed forces and we have two children. Four years ago, having watched our eldest son struggle with different curriculum and teaching methods in schools both in the UK and in Germany, we decided that he had endured as many changes in schools as he could cope with. He was missing vital steps in learning and was coping with different teaching methods guided by different Local Authorities. An example of this was when he learnt cursive writing in Year R in Kent and then this did not follow on in Germany in the same way, and again was different when we returned to the UK. We also had concerns about his progress.

Our choice as we saw it consisted of my husband going away continually for the rest of his Army career and becoming at best “Weekend Dad” with me settling in one place with the boys, or maintaining the family unit and moving on posting which meant sending our sons away to boarding school or changing their school an infinite number of times. I feel that choosing the boarding school option was the most difficult decision that we have had to make in life so far. If the Continuity of Education Allowance had not been available, then I think that my husband would have considered leaving the Army. The impact of mobility would have been too great on our children’s education as we have moved 15 times in 22 years so far.

I also feel that it is significant to point out that if my husband was not in the Army, neither of my children would be in boarding school through choice. We would settle in an area and the local choice of schools would be a stable long term decision.

We have all found this hard at times. Choosing the right school was extremely important. The school had to be able to understand our life and had to be up to the task of pastoral care. Flexi-boarding or weekends from Friday afternoon till Monday morning without any structured activity in particular worried me. Although this may sound obvious, I found that this was the case in several schools that I looked around. For the children, it is also extremely important that they do the same as their peers regarding exeats. I am pleased to tell you that since they have received this stable education, they have thrived and have been able to concentrate on learning. They have made long term friends, have a history within the school and they have individually received specific help for the gaps in their learning.

These next two examples are from my colleagues:

I am married to a serving soldier in the armed forces and we have four children. Last year we were faced with the difficult decision on whether or not to send our eldest son to boarding school. Our son is nine years old and has attended four schools since the age of four and this was beginning to take its toll on him. Over the past two years not only have my son’s grades dipped quite dramatically but his self-esteem seems to have been affected too. I believe this is due to the frequent school moves and lack of stability.

As a parent the most important thing to me is the social and emotional development of my child, however, it was evident that our son was struggling and this led us to make the difficult decision to send our son to boarding school.

I believe that sending our son away to school was the most difficult decision we have ever had to make as parents and one we did not take lightly, but I do feel this was the right decision for our son. The stability that boarding school offers has alleviated anxieties on us as parents as we know that our son will now continue to have continuity of education and reach his full potential academically.

My son started boarding at eight. It was his fourth school. Our decision to send him was not actually about any academic issues even though he had experienced three different curriculums but was about his emotional and social wellbeing. Never a hugely outgoing child, each move saw him retreat further into himself. By the last school before boarding, he refused to participate in any school activities outside the classroom and actively avoided making friends.

I was not convinced that a full boarding environment would suit him and for a while I was correct. It took two years before the school felt he had fully settled in. Academically he has always done well but he is now trying out every activity the school has to offer and he stands confidently within his peer group.

My husband and I have moved eight times over 13 years. Most of these moves have been big ones: Germany-Yorkshire-Glasgow-Swindon-Germany etc, making settling in one location with husband commuting impossible. Our last two postings only required us to move 50 miles. I kept my job and commuted but DIO policy meant that we had to move houses so even a small move would have meant a school move for my children. And even if we had not moved, who knows where we will go next meaning our children need to stay where they are to guarantee continuity of education.

We have always been pragmatic about our lifestyle and the implications it has had on my career (what career?), our finances and my social and emotional wellbeing. I try to trade those off with the advantages of this lifestyle (although struggling to think of any while I sit in my mouldy house, but I know there are some!). But the moment you begin to mess with my children’s education then the deal is off!

Thank you for the opportunity to add this to the enquiry. If you have any further questions then do not hesitate to be in touch.

March 2013