Annex 1: Mumsnet Forum
As part of this inquiry, we held an online forum in December 2018 on Mumsnet. We received over 80 posts, which we heard directly from mums about their experiences of pregnancy and early parenthood, as well as the services they used during this time. The posts covered a wide range of issues from women’s experiences of healthcare professionals and services as well as the impact of housing, employment and parental leave. This annex provides a summary of the key themes discussed on the forum.
During pregnancy, mothers who saw the same midwife often appeared to have a better experience. Many mums reported mistakes during pregnancy, health issues being missed or undiagnosed, which resulted in consequences for them and their children later. There wasn’t much mention of the role midwives can play in delivering public health messages to mums and parents during this period. For many mums, their experience of labour was chaotic, and in some cases, very traumatic. Many told us of mistakes being made on busy labour wards. Immediately after birth many mums commented on a lack of support to help with breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding, including breastfeeding support, was an issue raised by many mums. Many spoke about a lack of consistent advice from the professionals they spoke to. We heard that mums often end up believing breastfeeding myths, as a result. One mum emphasised the value of breastfeeding support saying:
I would have given up if it was not for the support of my local hospital, who admitted me for breastfeeding support and didn’t let me go until I was happy. Not everyone gets that help and so a lot of women give up. It’s all very well encouraging women to breastfeed, but the support has to be there, otherwise you just cause a feeling of failure and depression.
Many mums we heard from suffered from anxiety and depression, particularly postnatal depression. For many their symptoms of postnatal depression were not picked up, while some actively try to hide these symptoms. Others did not seek help for various reasons. For example, some we worried about the effect of medication on their baby’s health while they were breastfeeding, while others did not seek help as their local services were not easily accessible. Mums whose postnatal depression was known to professionals still described feeling very unsupported.
Mothers often reported feeling isolated during the early years of their child’s life, especially if they lived in rural areas or did not have family close by. Their isolation was also compounded by a lack of local facilities, such as those in children’s centres or libraries. Many mothers described children’s centres as a lifeline. In the words of one mum:
I found my local children’s centre an absolute godsend when my first daughter was little. I used to go there four out of five days a week, I think it probably saved my life as I was very low and very isolated at that point.
Mums valued not only the services and activities offered in children centres—the expertise of staff, the range of groups and parenting programmes available, and the offer of free vitamins—but the opportunity meet other people, particularly other parents, that children’s centres provided. We also heard about how children’s centres play a crucial role in the identification of needs. One mum mentioned how she knew there was something wrong with her child, but wasn’t sure what it was. Eventually, by seeing a speech and language therapist at the children’s centre, her child was referred to paediatrician, who identified that her child had special needs. Some mums had noticed the impact for cuts to funding. One mum told us:
after my first child I used the children’s centre several times a week. They had fantastic kind knowledgeable staff, offered lots of play groups (to help meet other parents), amazing various parenting/baby related courses that definitely helped me bond with my child and adjust to the new world of parenthood. However, with my second I certainly noticed the negative impact government funding cuts have had on these amazing places. It is tragic that something that offered so much support to new parents is suffering due to austerity measures.
Childcare was reported to be very expensive and of poor quality, especially in comparison to other countries. Women reported quitting their jobs to avoid paying for childcare.
People’s experiences of healthcare services, particularly midwives, health visitors and GPs, was very mixed. Some of the mums we heard from gave glowing accounts of the care they received, while others provided examples of very poor care. Mothers’ opinions of healthcare services and professionals was influenced by: staff attitudes; whether problems were identified and responded to effectively; communication between staff; the consistency of the information and advice they received; and continuity of care they experienced. Many mums reported that they did not see the same midwife, health visitor or GP. However, for those that did they tended to have a more positive view of their experience and more favourable opinions about the staff they saw. The mums we heard from often reported that staff appeared to be under a lot of pressure, which they felt gave rise to a box ticking approach to care that they experienced.
Mums often reported that they had only seen a health visitor once or twice. Others mentioned occasions where one of the mandated visits was missed. After receiving visits in the first few weeks after birth, mums were often told to see health visitors at a baby clinic, although mums frequently mentioned that these were full or very busy. Despite very mixed experiences, we heard examples that reinforced the vital role health visitors play, particularly in identifying issues. One mum told us that:
an amazing health visitor spotted my postnatal depression when I’d managed to successfully hide it from friends and family, I hear a lot about HV’s not being needed, I don’t agree. If she hadn’t spotted it I’m not sure where I would have ended up.
In contrast, another mum told us how no one really picked up on her postnatal depression. She described herself as a middle-class, professional woman and that there was a subsequent assumption from professionals that she’d thrive. When talking about her postnatal depression, she mentioned that she tried to explain to a health visitor how she was feeling, but the “health visitor tried to play it down” and made her “experience fit a narrative that didn’t really apply.”
We heard about how problems with housing, particularly private rented accommodation, and employment can have on parents and families during the early years of their children’s lives. Some mothers mentioned that there is a lack of part-time or flexible jobs. One mum told us that:
this inhibits efforts of professional mums to return to work, unless they are on low salaries. In my experience this contributes to stress, isolation, a loss of feeling “useful”, reduced standard of living, and means many mums don’t contribute to our economy as much as they could.
We also heard about inflexible, and even unsupportive, actions by employers and how these actions compounded the pressures on parents and families. Women reported how pressures of family life were not recognised by employers. One woman told us that her employer tried to get her to sign a new contract before she went on maternity leave, which would have removed her annual bonus, her car allowance and reduced her pension by 3%.
Leave was another important issue. Where their husbands were self-employed, mothers mentioned that the father had no paternity leave and, consequently, returned to work very soon after the birth, leaving them without support for most of the day. We heard that if fathers were able to take more leave that this would help mothers during this period. One respondent told us that her partner’s employer didn’t permit him any annual leave after his two weeks statutory paternity leave. She said that feels:
… if fathers were allowed a slightly longer period of leave (maybe 6 weeks) it would have helped me cope better during those initial weeks with a newborn. He had four weeks off with my first child and it made a huge difference, especially when not everyone has extended family they can call on close by for support.
Another mum mentioned that the “very low take up of shared parental leave underlines something isn’t calibrated right in how the system motivates people to combine work and family life.” On shared parental leave one woman mentioned that her and her husband were using shared parental leave as they both want time with their baby boy. Her husband planned to take 3 months of the shared leave, 2 weeks paternity leave and another 2 weeks of annual leave, whereas she was taking 10 months leave, including the remaining 9 months of their shared leave and another month of annual leave, before preparing to go part-time. On shared parental leave, she said, despite recognising that they both have relatively flexible employers, one year between both parents seemed far too little.
Housing, particularly rented accommodation, was another source of stress for some families. One woman mentioned that her landlady served her notice as she didn’t want children in the flat. Talking about private rented accommodation, one mum mentioned that “the instability is a constant anxiety that you try not to pass onto your children, but it’s inevitable. It’s little things like letting them paint or use play dough, as you’re petrified it will get on the walls or carpet.”
Published: 26 February 2019