27.Submission from E[55]
I largely welcome the UK Government's Draft
Gender Recognition Bill for its foresight in helping such transsexuals
as myself with the prospect of integrating into society under
my true gender. However, there is one aspect of it that is causing
my wife and I a great deal of concern and that is in the field
of pre-existing marriages.
PRE-EXISTING
MARRIAGES
Under the current Draft, in order for me to
acquire a Gender Recognition Certificate, I will have to divorce
my wife. The irony of the situation is that I have been married
to her for 24 years and been together with her for 30 years. Admittedly,
due to the lack of knowledge, fear and phobias in our society
during my life, I have had to disguise my true nature very effectively.
However, when my father died last year, I effectively began to
unravel. I had gone through bad patches before, but this was one
that I found was too big to handle and it was due to the love
and understanding of my wife that I was able to at last tell her
about my dysphoria. Although naturally upset at my revelation,
she has rallied by my side and is as adamant as I that I should
go ahead with transition and that the family should remain together.
Over the past few months her unselfish love
and support has been a godsend to me, but when I consider the
future, I cannot help but think that the very act that is going
to "free" me is going to cause such pain to those that
I love dearly. I have always been attracted to females as opposed
to males, so with a male body it was easy to marry my wife without
any legal concerns. Now we have a beautiful relationship, two
lovely children and yet all is threatened by the fact that I will
be required to divorce them or not be allowed to register my rightful
gender. What a horrible and cruel choice to have to make for me
and how particularly unfair an option for my wife and family who
have done nothing wrong and wish to remain as much as we are through
what will undoubtedly be trying times ahead. I strongly feel that
the Government have not given due consideration to the increased
stress and guilt a divorce will produce, nor thought through the
interests of the spouse and children who are effectively being
penalised.
Like the responsible body it is, I notice that
in their "Submission Regarding the Draft Gender Recognition
Bill" that Press For Change have discussed this very issue,
providing a sensible recommendation to consider. I quote their
point C.2.m:
"In our submissions to the Interdepartmental
Working Group in 1999 and 2000, PFC recommended that the extent
of the "problem" could be readily contained by legislating
a cut off in pre-existing marriages which could be allowed to
continue. That is, marriages already contracted for a certain
time (eg five years) at the time of the legislation coming into
force could be exempted from the requirement to be dissolved.
Normal attrition then means that the number of such marriages
would diminish over time, and there would be less ability to try
and draw parallels between this exception of trans couples remaining
married and same sex couples wanting to marry."
Without this chance for the future, I know that
I cannot go on living a good, constructive life. I understand
that this will concern only about two to three dozen families,
but you must surely understand the immense trauma that these families
would face if forced to break up. It would take relatively little
legislation in the scheme of things to keep these families as
close and caring as they been so far with the trans partner happier
in the knowledge that his transition is not going to tear apart
such a relationship. Please accept this submission with apologies
for I fully realise that with these words, you shall judge the
whole future of my family.
22 September 2003
55 The author of this memorandum provided their full
name and address but they have not been printed. Back
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