Appendix 1: Summary of online forum on
violence against women and girls
The Committee's inquiry and online forum
On 4 February 2014, the Joint Committee on Human
Rights announced its intention to conduct a broad-ranging inquiry
into violence against women and girls in the UK. The full terms
of reference of the inquiry can be found here:
http://www.parliament.uk/business/committees/committees-a-z/joint-select/human-rights-committee/news/violence-against-women-and-girls---inquiry-announced.
As part of its overall inquiry the Committee decided
to conduct an online forum to hear the views of individual members
of the public, many of whom might not be aware of the Committee's
inquiry or who might not wish to submit written evidence.
This summary outlines how the online forum was designed,
publicised and the data collated. The responses given by members
of the public have been anonymised but respondents were aware
that their responses may be quoted in the Committee's Report.
The purpose of the online forum
In response to its call for evidence, the Committee
received numerous responses from expert witnesses, charities and
organisations but few from individual members of the public. The
Committee decided to host an online forum to try and address this.
The sensitive nature of the inquiry meant that the Committee also
wanted a forum for members of the public to submit their views
and experiences whilst retaining anonymity.
The forum was not intended to just reach survivors
of gender based violence, but any member of the public and also
parents. The forum encouraged them to discuss whether individuals
who had been victims of gender-based violence reported it, and
also about how the topic could be broached in terms of education.
It is not unprecedented for Parliamentary Committees
or groups to use online fora in conjunction with inquiries. In
2007, the Home Affairs Committee conducted an eConsultation for
their inquiry into Domestic Violence, Forced Marriage and "Honour"-Based
Violence, and prior to that the All-Party Parliamentary Group
on Domestic Violence had run two fora, Womenspeak in 2000[225]
and Kidspeak in 2007.[226]
Forum structure and development
Parliamentary ICT staff have experience of designing
and running online consultations for select committees. The Committee,
however, from advice from the Digital Outreach Team decided to
run an online forum through a third party website rather than
run an eConsultation through the Parliamentary website. The main
reasons for this were: ease of publicity regarding the forum;
difficulty running an anonymous registration system for a Parliamentary
web-based consultation; and lack of internal resources to moderate
an eConsultation forum. It was also hoped that the use of a known
popular website would remove a layer of formality from the forum
and inquiry and encourage individuals to contribute.
A number of factors were taken into consideration
including consideration of which external website would be best
placed to host the online forum. As an external website hosted
the forum, the comments submitted are not formal written evidence
and therefore are not be covered by Parliamentary Privilege.[227]
The responses can, however, like any data freely available online,
be used by the Committee in its report if relevant.
The Committee agreed for netmums.com to host the
forum. The Committee was particularly keen to hear from parents
regarding gender-based violence as the Committee received few
submissions that focused specifically on girls, i.e. females under
18, rather than women.
Committee staff and the Digital Outreach Team designed
the forum page and questions, in consultation with netmums.com.
The forum ran through a thread on the 'Coffee House' section of
the Netmums website. The welcome thread consisted of a welcome
from the Chairman, Dr Francis Hywel MP, and a short introduction
to the Committee and its inquiry. The forum page also gave information
about:
· the
netmums.com registration system, including a link to Netmums'
anon username system
· the
length of time the forum would be accepting responses
· how
the responses may be used or quoted in the Committee's Report
· organisations
to contact for victims of gender-based violence or if had concerns
about someone else
The thread itself was split into two. A yes/no question
and three open questions. Participants in the forum could do either
or both.
The yes/no poll at the top of the page asked:
Do you think we do enough to educate children about
gender-related violence? Yes / No / Don't Know
The three open ended questions that people were invited
to answer were:
a) Have you or other women or girls in your family
ever experienced violence? Did you report it to anyone?
b) Do we, as a country, do enough to educate
children on acceptable behaviour between men and women and what
violence against women and girls can actually constitute (for
example violence can include sexual harassment, coercive behaviour,
as well as forced marriage, rape or domestic physical violence)?
c) Do you have any suggestions for how education
about violence against women and girls could be improved for everyone—male
or female?
Registration
To submit comments on the forum thread, individuals
had to register with netmums.com. Whilst registration can be an
obstacle to people responding, this was considered no less onerous
than registration for an eConsultation. It was also hoped that
any trail of registering for netmums.com would not automatically
be associated with submitting comments to the forum thread or
the inquiry as netmums.com is a very large website covering numerous
topics to do with parenting.
Information regarding the Netmums registration system
and how to post anonymously was provided in the welcome thread.
Publicity
The forum thread was mainly publicised through social
media by netmums.com, the Committee itself and Parliament's official
media channels. Press notices were also published at the point
of commencement of the forum. Data showed that the link to the
forum advertised on Twitter had over 200 hits.
Management and moderation by netmums.com
As the forum thread was hosted by netmums.com, respondents
also had to adhere to netmums.com's forum rules[228]
and forum netiquette guide.[229]
Netmums.com moderated the forum the same as any forum
on netmums.com. Additionally, staff from the Digital Outreach
Team monitored the forum and responded to any questions or comments.
Summary of responses
A total of 87 individuals responded to the question
'Do you think we do enough to educate children about gender-related
violence?' with the following response breakdown:
Yes—14.94%
No—77.01%
Don't know—8.05%
The qualitative data collected in response to the
three open questions was analysed by the Committee staff and broken
down into key themes. Relevant quotes and data are given here.
In total, twenty five individuals responded with
two individuals responding more than once.
Q1. Have you or other women or girls in your family
ever experienced violence? Did you report it to anyone?
There were 22 responses to this question. 21 of those
said that they or a family member had experienced violence, 1
said they had not. Of those 21 who had experienced violence, 10
had reported it, 4 did not and 7 did not say whether they had
reported the violence to anyone or not.
Quotes have been extracted from the responses and
are grouped here under the following themes: effect on victim
and family, perpetrator, reporting and exiting a violent relationship.
Effect on victim and family
"Even now almost 10 years on it affects me in
different ways, not as much as before but sometimes things come
up and I have flashbacks."
"My aunty has been in several abusive relationships,
it has lead to the break down of her family."
"Myself and my mother had hell on earth thanks
to my now exstepdad. There were years of emotional and violent
abuse."
"in one case the victim has a mental health
issue and this has been aggravated by her partner's behaviour."
Perpetrator
"I experienced violence from my ex for 5 yrs.
part of that time include the birth and first 3 yrs of our daughters
life. my ex has mental health problems and aspergers, the latter
only being diagnosed at the same time as my divorce proceedings.
His widely variable responses and actions and attitudes and strange
thoughts / feelings / texts / emails, over the past 12 yrs of
being married to him and knowing him (him trying to kill me and
leaving DD on her own in house aged 2yrs, before HE called social
services, being 2 significant examples of many), means that he
is clearly psychotic in nature—when I say 'psychotic', I
mean this in a clinical term, not a term of hatred"
"females married to men who lose their temper
after drink—not regularly but on occasion during many years
of marriage—this is accepted by the family"
"Both women and men need to understand that,
not only is violence completely unacceptable, but their perpetrators
are often mentally ill, which makes them commit such atrocities.
Am I excusing their actions? No No No !!!!! Not at all. I am just
saying that there needs to be a LOT more help for both the victim
AND the violent person. My ex STILL hasn't received the help he
needs. Why? Because he is relatively 'normal' during the times
people (and most importantly, professionals), see him/meet him.
No one sees the sudden change in behaviour, the 'red mist' he
describes when he hurt me, the running away for weeks on end—no
one knowing where he is—to be found living in a tent somewhere."
Reporting
"Police have been involved in some of the domestic
disturbances but no prosecutions."
"Incidents were reported by both neighbours
and myself."
"At the age of fifteen I was considered too
young to be a victim of abuse from a boyfriend […] Even if
he was ten years older than me […] I was told I was powerless
and needed to grow up […] even by medical staff […]
it was my fault not his […]"
"It was reported but nothing could be done and
just a caution was issued for another incident."
"First one I reported and was accused of being
drunk because I was hysterical. He had beaten me and told me I
would never see my son again, then left the house. My mother agreed
that I had made it all up (she wasn't there at the time). Second
one I had no choice with. I reported 3 times, the third time I
was so badly beaten that I had to get medical treatment, I called
Women's Aid and escaped"
"My mum suffered substantial constant violence
from my dad. It was reported although this was years ago and I
don't think it was dealt with in the manner it should have been.
I have also suffer domestic violence. I spoke to womens aid, I
have made reports to the police on a few occasions although I
never wanted to press charges, I just wanted things on record
should the situation get even worse."
Exiting a violent relationship
"the third time I was so badly beaten that I
had to get medical treatment, I called Women's Aid and escaped."
"One was physical and the other was controlling.
I left them both. However it took my sister 10years to leave her
partner."
Q2. Do we, as a country, do enough to educate
children on acceptable behaviour between men and women and what
violence against women and girls can actually constitute (for
example violence can include sexual harassment, coercive behaviour,
as well as forced marriage, rape or domestic physical violence)?
There were 19 responses to this question. All 19
responses said that they did not believe enough was done to education
children in this area. A handful of respondents gave comments
regarding this question in relation to their reasons:
"for some reason we are raising girls who seek
to gain validation from men alone rather than from a range of
sources. Many young women measure their worth in direct relation
to their "attractiveness" or ability to find/retain
a partner thus leaving them at risk of being treated badly in
return for the affirmation they feel from being in a sexual relationship."
"No—we have a media that belittle women
and consider them men's chattels. TV shows minimise domestic abuse
and rape and little thought is give to the emotional nature of
abuse."
"We need to educate women firstly on emotional
abuse—as DV normaly starts as that, then once you're worn
out emotionally the physical abuse starts. The isolation, manipulation,
controlling behaviour, not respecting bounderies etc often comes
first—we need to help women spot the red flags that are
often over looked early on in the relationship. Often women are
unsure if what their partner is doing constitutes abuse, we need
to remove that self doubt."
"think teens need to be taught to say no—they
can say no, and it's cool to say no I think boys need to be taught
their moral responsibilities.in all issues of sexual maturity—sex
is not a right, support any child they produce, respect women.
But I do not want my 11 year old (or younger) daughter
taught about these issues, as they are taught too many depressing
things already"
Q3. Do you have any suggestions for how education
about violence against women and girls could be improved for everyone—male
or female?
There were 22 responses to this question. Quotes
have been extracted from the responses and are grouped here under
the following themes: preventative action; education/children;
support services; reporting; exiting; perpetrator; Government/legislation;
and media.
Preventative action
"Recognising the behaviour that leads to it,
eg the emotional and psychology side of it so belittling in front
of other, back handed compliments, double standards, controlling
Recognising the language use, eg why did you make
me do that"
"There should be more support for all women
with family's in regards to parenting and handling bad tempered
children because it would help men develop self control in childhood"
"Start addressing the fact that abuse happens
no matter the age of the person."
"There needs to be a wider recognition of different
types of abuse e.g. violence. There also needs to be more recognition
in campaigns that this is a gender issue and as the opening post
says, it is about male violence against women and girls."
"society needs to work at making certain behaviour
unacceptable. e.g Say NO to: answering someone else's mobile without
permission using someone else's bank card alcohol to excess "jokes"
at someone else's expense, put downs etc etc etc"
Education/Children
"The education that it's ok to question behaviour
if you think someone is going through this.
The fact that it can happen to anyone and not just
on TV or to other people."
"More self esteem building classes in school
for boys and girls Encourage children to be open and teach how
to handle their emotions through talking and creative arts"
"Relationships education in schools, Freedom
programme to be taught in schools to enable young women to recognise
abusive behaviour early on. Sadly this has already been voted
against in parliament."
"I believe many adult victims of DV may be desensitised
to abuse/violence having been brought up in a similar environment.
I feel that for me, I didn't have a blueprint of a positive and
loving relationship growing up (my own father was abusive and
occasionally violent) and therefore accepted how I was treated
because for me it was 'what men do'. I feel that educating young
people is hugely important as those witnessing abuse or violence
in the home are far more likely to become perpetrators or victims
in the future. Prevention is better than cure and I believe it
should start with educating young people how to conduct healthy
relationships."
"Start educating people of signs of abuse and
who they can talk to about the abuse, most people don't know who
to report concerns too or if there is any help for the family
of the person involved.
Start educating staff on how to respond to signs of abuse"
"While educating about the abuse itself is important
I think more focus needs to be put on improving girls self esteem
in general. If from a young age we can promote our girls in gaining
confidence in themselves we can help to set them up to make good
choices in their teenage years and beyond. Young women with poor
self esteem are more likely to find themselves trapped in situations
of violence and feeling almost like they don't deserve any better.
Girl's have a huge amount of pressure on them and this is particularly
true when they reach adolescence.
I think we need to not place all the importance of
talking to girl's all the time but to actually listen to them.
In my opinion lot's of young girl's (especially in school's) can
end up being overlooked because they tend to internalise their
problems and fears and withdraw which can make it more difficult
for adults to recognise."
"More hardhitting and real life stories should
be used to educate not just showing the most extreme but showing
the subtle things and build ups and normal day life. I also think
in school all children should be taught about anger management
how to handle anger appropriately as i believe my stepdad was
not taught how to deal with emotions and how to react."
"Teach freedom programme in schools"
"Educate men to respect women, to understand
they are not entitled to sex and to recognise and call others
on unacceptable behaviour when they see it Educate women and girls
in the 'red flags' so that an emotional/physical abuser can be
spotted early in a relationship (like the Freedom Programme)."
"think it needs to be implemented in schools,
especially different sorts of abuse. And how to deal with it,
and how to get out of the situation.
For example, my step father would beat me daily.
My mother would act like nothing had happened and I've grown up
thinking in worthless. If there had been some sort of education
in school, that showed me how to escape it, my life would be a
lot different."
"Allow women's Aid to come into schools and
teach girls how to escape. Make sure that all children are blessed
with high self esteem. This is a gendered crime. whether people
like it or not, the vast majority of people abused within relationships
are women by men"
"The Freedom programme needs to be better promoted
and funded. Many women who are abused do not know about it and
could benefit."
"One issue about carrying out this type of education
as part of the school curriculum is that it can be hard for young
children to learn about issues that seem to imply a criticism
of their own family members whom they love very much. School may
be a place they go to get away from that issue and I am concerned
about how well supported these children would be […]
Cultural issues are also part of this problem […]
disapproval of a child's family/culture can be implied by addressing
this issue without sufficient understanding of the cultural issues.
I think the issues need to be open to discussion
throughout the curriculum […] drip,drip, drip"
"young people need to learn how to protect their
rights when setting up a tennancy, opening a joint account, buying
a house together, entering a credit agreement,paying bills or
running up utility debts within a relationship, choosing contraception,etc
etc etc"
"With specific regard to sex education, there
needs to be more emphasis on obtaining consent for sexual activity
as well as simply teaching the mechanics. Too many men and women
grow up thinking that a man coercing or persuading a woman into
sex is perfectly natural. Tackle the stereotype that having sex
is a good thing for a man but a bad or degrading thing for a woman."
"We need to be educating men and women at a
young age on what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. We
need to teach the warning signs of abuse and teach them what resources
there are available to them should they find they need to seek
help or advice. I think they should send a workshop around all
the high schools in the UK whereby people act out different situations
in relationships and the pupils have to decide what they think
constitutes abuse and how it made them feel witnessing it and
other questions like what should they do if they see this happening
to a friend for example."
"Encouraging children from an early age to recognise
and value a whole range of characteristics/qualities in their
male and female peers. Parents/grandparents/other adults modelling
healthy, equal relationships and demonstrating conflict resolution
and respect for all people. On going dialogue about feelings,
recognising anger and building on a repertoire of strategies to
manage it, encouraging young people to set their own boundaries
and explore ways of maintaining them, giving a clear and consistent
message that being treated with compassion and fairness is a perfectly
reasonable minimum expectation in all relationships. Not forgetting
how to share a worry and who to share it with."
"The freedom course should be more widely available
but overall, relationships and emotional wellbeing education is
poor - schools are left to their own devices. We need a government
response to indicate that emotional literacy is as important as
phonics and numeracy—if we can teach children to be empathetic
and have self esteem, then recognition of when relationships are
abusive is much more likely."
Support services
"Where to go for help, what this help offers
eg women's refuge where they help to with work"
"There needs to be more support and expert advice
to mothers on how to help their children deal with the aftermath.
Many mothers after leaving their partner, find their children
displaying disturbed behaviour, but there seems little help available.
This help could include expert guidance on a website, as some
mothers are scared to tell anyone "official" about their
kids difficulties, in case they are taken into care. I know that
is unlikely, but it is often a threat that abusers have used over
many years."
Reporting
"Do more to make women and girls feel they'll
be taken seriously if they make a report of violence or abuse."
"I don't think the police record all crimes
reported to them. I think the pressure on ever decreasing crime
stats mean women suffer. I believe this is politically motivated.
I think there is widespread and accepted corruption in crime recording—particularly
in sexual crimes and abuse of women. I think the crime recording
system requires complete overhaul."
Exiting
"how to get yourself ready to be safe eg have
a bag with passport and paperwork and some money put away"
"A couple of Tele adverts aimed at teen's scratching
the surface of the truth, is simply not enough. The hardest part
is leaving, breaking the cycle."
You see on here time and time again women who need
help. But what have they got when they get out. To be relocated,
miles away from their family, into refuges, who don't have hardly
any money so never fit enough to live in [,,,]
The point I'm trying to make is not enough is done
once the woman leaves. Hostels are not supported enough, the police
don't take domestic violence seriously enough (from my own personal
opinion), help with housing and jobs or benefits needs to be more"
"Help towards tackling the stigma single mums
face in every day life—one of my concerned when I was contemplating
leaving"
"Make it the norm that the abuser has to leave
the family home rather than create a situation where women and
their children (it is sadly usually a woman) have to flee to a
refuge and lose everything."
Perpetrator
"it is also important to teach young people
about where these unacceptable behaviours come from […] unemployment,
low self esteem, bad examples from other's etc etc have an impact
on this. We must be careful not to demonize young men. The bully's
need help to change their behaviour and attitudes before they
become entrenched. Mother's need support in challenging unacceptable
behavour in young children and being assertive […] they also
need information about how earning the respect of young children
is necessary in order to be able to influence their behaviour."
"More support is needed for perpetrators too."
Government/Legislation
"By example. Led by government legislation"
"DV should be taken more seriously as a crime.
If someone commits DV or any violence, there should be a mandatory
custodial sentence plus mandatory rehabilitation program"
"The government also need to stop promoting
contact with consistently abusive and violent parents-too many
children continue to watch their mothers being abused when they
have left the relationship, my own included. DV needs to be tackled
at its root."
"I also believe that examples need to be made!prison
sentences made"
"Make all kinds of domestic abuse punishable
by law […] I was victim of emotional abuse for months, it
was known, left me suicidal and had anything h happened to me,
he would have got away with it and ended up bringing up 2 kids
who he would have manipulated and abused too […] he could
have been stopped months before it got so bad for me if the law
took it more seriously!"
"Give similar weight to emotional, financial
and control-related abuse, just as damaging and often overlooked.
Media
"More respect for women in popular culture,
meaning more value on a woman's whole self and not just as a sexual
object"
"Do something about the celebrity and porn-led
media and culture we live in that gives women and girls the message
that they are valued and judged only for their looks and man-pleasing
abilities"
225 In association with the Hansard Society Back
226
In association with Women's Aid. Back
227
Parliamentary privilege grants certain legal immunities for Members
of both Houses which allow them to perform their duties without
interference from outside the House. The privileges are: Freedom
of speech, freedom from arrest (on civil matters), freedom of
access to the sovereign and that 'the most favourable construction
should be placed on all the Houses's proceedings'. Members are
immune from legal action in terms of slander but must adhere to
the principles of parliamentary language. Back
228
http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/faq.php?faq=coffeehouserules Back
229
http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/faq.php?faq=forumfaqs#faq_netiquette Back
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